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Jesus, I will never forget you

As I’ve been preparing for my youngest son, Parker’s, high school graduation, I’ve been going through old photos and videos. I came across perhaps one of the most precious videos of him. He was about 7 years old and wrote a song called, “Jesus, I will never forget you” and wanted to sing it for me.

Backing up to when I was pregnant with him – I’d like to share a story with you. I had already had a full term stillborn and 5 miscarriages. So, naturally I was afraid. I made it to 20 weeks and was about to have my midway ultrasound. A bit nervous, but excited too – I made my way to the exam room. His heartbeat was really fast, so I was convinced it was a girl:).

As the technician began the scan, I could tell she was concerned. I knew this technician very well as I worked in that same department. But since the doctor was not in the room, she could not say what it was. As we waited for that phone call and then subsequent appointments with the doctor, so many thoughts raced through my mind – would my baby be ok? would he survive? – and all the “what if’s” in between. I actually got the call while working in pediatrics that day – and got the news that our son had a cleft lip and possibly a cleft palate.

We met with the high risk doctor – he was gentle and kind and offered reassurance. He said this particular chromosome abnormality is often accompanied by one of two types of chromosome abnormalities – and if he had either of them, one would leave him developmentally disabled and one would have the added consequence that he would pass away shortly after birth.

We chose to have no further testing done and to trust that God was in control – NO it was absolutely not easy. And yes, I felt a flood of emotions all throughout the rest of the pregnancy. But I knew that no amount of testing would change the course of my pregnancy.

The day he was born, we had a team of doctors and nurses in the room. I remember seeing the little incubator there in the event he would need to be transported to the NICU. As he was born, and took his first breaths, I heard the sweetest sound – a baby’s cry. The doctor gently laid him on my chest. His eyes met mine and he instantly calmed down. He was a healthy baby – 8 pounds, 4 ounces and only had a cleft lip/gum – nothing else. Yes he would need several surgeries throughout his life – but it was the best case scenario. No other chromosome abnormalities – just a healthy little boy.

As he grew, he always had a close bond with the Lord – he tells me he has felt the Spirit with him all throughout his life, even in infancy.

A few weeks ago, we were able to attend a TobyMac concert together. As we left the concert, he told my husband and me that he was so inspired and wished to have a platform like that to tell others about Jesus. BE STILL MY HEART! At 17 (almost 18), he wanted to use his life to share with others about Jesus. If this child only knew how much he already inspires so many around him, if he only knew what a miracle he is and if he only knew how greatly he has impacted this world already – if only, if only, if only.

As we prepare for him to graduate high school (which has not been an easy road for him), my Mama heart is excited for what is to come and in total humanness, a bit teary eyed to see him spread his wings and fly. Yet, I am one hundred percent certain that our sweet Parker will continue to change the world – one heartbeat at a time.

As you watch the precious video of the song he wrote, may you, too, be blessed by the innocence and complete faith of a child. Jesus, may you always be the honored guest in our lives, may you be the one we live our lives for and may the world come to know you so beautifully, so intricately and so completely as our sweet Parker does. Love you, Heather

Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV) – “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations”.

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